Pappa Coonie's turtle story

     It all started in the summer of 2002.  Murl (AKA Pappa Coonie)  & Louise live on a edge of a pond.  In the spring, they were blessed with newly hatched ducklings.  But, one by one, turtles would pull the ducklings under the water to drown and eat them.  Murl was itching to get himself a turtle.
   Now, Louise had a ceramic turtle in her rock garden , and for a laugh, Ray put that turtle, as a decoy, on a log at the edge of the pond.
   When Murl got home and saw that turtle in the distance, he pulled out his rifle and shot it, not once, but twice, straight through the chest, exiting through the tail.  He was SO excited that he'd gotten a turtle.

 

 So started the legend of 'Precious, the turtle'.  I'll share just a few highlights of that turtle's life.

   'Precious, the turtle' has been auctioned off to the highest bidder at many of the family Christmas auctions, and has lived, for the following year, at each of the sibling's homes.  He was kidnapped & held for ransom, enduring 17 long days of captivity before being return unharmed. (the FBI got curious about those e-mails)  He was an honored guest at Murl & Louise's 50th anniversary celebration.  He found love with Myrtle, the Turtle on New Year's eve 2004.  Sadly, that relationship ended on Valentines day, 2005 with an introduction to a break-dancing turtle named Lucianda Maria Antoinette Delasantos. I could go on and on.
   Turtle inuendos still pop up anywhere, any time the Mileur's get together. 

    Another Mileur family tradition is the 'Annual Lessor Scaup 4th of July, Boat Regatta and Birthday celebration"!  Everybody creates a boat, and everybody gets an award!  The Legend of Precious the Turtle and the Annual Boat Regatta  became entwined several times.  Just look.

2005 -  Emily's boat  - "Please don't shoot me"

Award -  "Coonie's favorite"

 

2008 - our grandson Noah's boat - "The moving target"

Award - "Best kid's boat"

 

2008 - Monique's boat - "Turtles on Strike"

Award - Pappa Coonie's favorite"

 

2009 - Deb's boat " Grand Coonie Isle Turtle Farm"

Award - "Pappa Coonie's favorite"

 

   None of this would be funny if Murl had not been able to laugh at himself.  If it had been my father who had been in that original situation, who had mistakenly shot a ceramic turtle, the story would have had a very different ending.  It would not have been funny at all.  I wonder, what makes one person able to laugh during a situation, and another person angry?

 

    

 

Horse back riding and life skills

   What girl doesn't like horses?  Emily was no different in that aspect.  She loved horses, and had no fear, even when I thought she should have a little fear.  I'd heard that horseback riding had been shown to improve balance, muscle tone, and self confidence in kids with disabilities, I set out to find "equine therapy".  At the time, I worked with Terri Walker, who told me that her mother,  Sandy Crutcher, boarded horses and had hired a trainer to give private lessons.  "No," Sandy told me, "We don't do therapy, we just teach kids how to ride."  Neither she or I knew how it would go, but we agreed to take it one week, one lesson, at a time.  Thursday afternoon was Emily's day and she learned the days of the week on a calendar by waiting for Thursday to come around. 
  For the life of me, I can't remember the name of the trainer. I think it was Mitzi.  Anyway, she was perfect for Emily.  Stong handed enough to keep Emily reined in when she needed it and wise enough to let Emily go when it was safe to let her be on her own.  And the horse, he was huge but he had a patient and gentle spirit.  This wasn't just riding.  Em learned how to feed, groom and clean up after the horse.  She learned that there were responsibilities that came with the fun.  After a couple of years at Crutcher's Corner, Mitzi moved on and the lessons came to an end.

   
   It was several years later that we happened upon another opportunity for horse riding lessons for Emily.  Dave owned several horses and was willing for Emily to come ride once a week.  BlackJack was ideal for Emily.  I was more comfortble with his size and Emily took to him like an old friend.
   One day, Em decided she wanted to do more than just walk around the corral.  She kicked BlackJack in the ribs and hollored "Go."   And BlackJack did what he was told.  He took off, and Emily fell off.   Dave about had a heart attack, and started to go to Emily, but I stopped him. We watched as Emily picked herself up, dusted herself off, then ran after BlackJack.   "You get back here!"  She caught him, climbed up on the fence and climbed back in the saddle.  She was so proud of herself when she walked  BlackJack back around to where we were standing.   Emily thought she was just having fun.  But in that instance she was learning life skills of  'actions have consequences', 'problem solving', and 'independance'. 

BlackJack and Emily

                      
   Later, I learned about an equine therapy center.  I signed Emily up.  But both Emily and I left the session frustrated and disappointed.  We didn't go back.  This was not riding like Em was used to, this was being led around.  I'm sure there's a place for this type of therapy, but I am so glad that I didn't find this first when I was searching for horse-riding therapy.

                                        
   I feel such gratitude to both Mitzi and Dave for being willing to see past the disabilities of Down Syndrome and for being willing to see the abilities of Emily.  They gave her an opportunity to grow.  Instead of doing for her, they taught her to do for herself. This was no free ride. They expected her to do for herself.  And she rose to that expectation.
 
   That's a hard lesson for parents of kids with disabilities.  It's hard even for parents of typical kids.  We want to help our kids, but in doing too much for them, we actually disable them further.   I didn't think this up, but I like the quote:

                           "As a parent, it's not your job to do for your child.
                             It's your job to teach your child to do for himself."

Emily & Oma

  When Emily was born, my Mom was there.  When she was 18 months old, Emily had surgery for a diaphragmatic hernia and spent 15 days at Children's hospital, 12 of those day on a ventilator.  My Mom stayed there with me while I stayed with Emily.  All through Em's life, my Mom was there for me.  She knew first hand about raising a child with a disability.  She undersood what I was feeling.
  Mom was diagnosed with Breast cancer in  1996.  She had a mastectomy, radiation and chemo and surprised the Dr's by living in remission for 15 years. When she died, it wasn't from cancer.  I believe God let her stay here to help me raise Emily. 

Yes, that's a pair of Emily's pants on Mom's head. 

They were playing dress up.

 

Having a picnic at the zoo.

 

Mother's day luncheon,

 

A Hundred years from now,

It will not matter what my bank account was

the sort of house I lived in,

or the kind of car I drove.

 But the world may be different

because I was important

in the life of a child.

 

My mom made a difference in my life, and in Emily's life, and in this world!