Horse back riding and life skills

   What girl doesn't like horses?  Emily was no different in that aspect.  She loved horses, and had no fear, even when I thought she should have a little fear.  I'd heard that horseback riding had been shown to improve balance, muscle tone, and self confidence in kids with disabilities, I set out to find "equine therapy".  At the time, I worked with Terri Walker, who told me that her mother,  Sandy Crutcher, boarded horses and had hired a trainer to give private lessons.  "No," Sandy told me, "We don't do therapy, we just teach kids how to ride."  Neither she or I knew how it would go, but we agreed to take it one week, one lesson, at a time.  Thursday afternoon was Emily's day and she learned the days of the week on a calendar by waiting for Thursday to come around. 
  For the life of me, I can't remember the name of the trainer. I think it was Mitzi.  Anyway, she was perfect for Emily.  Stong handed enough to keep Emily reined in when she needed it and wise enough to let Emily go when it was safe to let her be on her own.  And the horse, he was huge but he had a patient and gentle spirit.  This wasn't just riding.  Em learned how to feed, groom and clean up after the horse.  She learned that there were responsibilities that came with the fun.  After a couple of years at Crutcher's Corner, Mitzi moved on and the lessons came to an end.

   
   It was several years later that we happened upon another opportunity for horse riding lessons for Emily.  Dave owned several horses and was willing for Emily to come ride once a week.  BlackJack was ideal for Emily.  I was more comfortble with his size and Emily took to him like an old friend.
   One day, Em decided she wanted to do more than just walk around the corral.  She kicked BlackJack in the ribs and hollored "Go."   And BlackJack did what he was told.  He took off, and Emily fell off.   Dave about had a heart attack, and started to go to Emily, but I stopped him. We watched as Emily picked herself up, dusted herself off, then ran after BlackJack.   "You get back here!"  She caught him, climbed up on the fence and climbed back in the saddle.  She was so proud of herself when she walked  BlackJack back around to where we were standing.   Emily thought she was just having fun.  But in that instance she was learning life skills of  'actions have consequences', 'problem solving', and 'independance'. 

BlackJack and Emily

                      
   Later, I learned about an equine therapy center.  I signed Emily up.  But both Emily and I left the session frustrated and disappointed.  We didn't go back.  This was not riding like Em was used to, this was being led around.  I'm sure there's a place for this type of therapy, but I am so glad that I didn't find this first when I was searching for horse-riding therapy.

                                        
   I feel such gratitude to both Mitzi and Dave for being willing to see past the disabilities of Down Syndrome and for being willing to see the abilities of Emily.  They gave her an opportunity to grow.  Instead of doing for her, they taught her to do for herself. This was no free ride. They expected her to do for herself.  And she rose to that expectation.
 
   That's a hard lesson for parents of kids with disabilities.  It's hard even for parents of typical kids.  We want to help our kids, but in doing too much for them, we actually disable them further.   I didn't think this up, but I like the quote:

                           "As a parent, it's not your job to do for your child.
                             It's your job to teach your child to do for himself."