Footprints in the sand

  Yesterday, I wrote the beginning of the story of Emily. Today I'll tell you more.  Better get your kleenex.
  
"Do not look around you in terror and be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you, and I will hold you up and retain you with my victorious right hand of rightness and justice." Isaiah 40:10

   Several times, that verse has come to me. Each time it came unexpectedly, but just when I needed it.  The first time I heard it was before Emily was born.  It was fresh in my heart when we found out that she had Down Syndrome.
   15 months later, Emily got sick.  That in itself wasn't unusual. She'd had frequent ear infections, but this was different. She refused to eat and was short of breath. The diagnosis:  morgagni's diaphragmatic hernia. She had surgery, then spent the next 12 days on a ventilator. Three days after being weaned off, we finally went home!. 

                                  With every "cursing" comes the "blessings" ! 

    Emily was in St. Louis Children's Hospital.  The staff was amazingly wise and kind and took special care of Emily's medical needs and my emotional needs.
    When my sick time benefit ran out, my co-workers donated their vacation time so that I could have a full paycheck while I stayed there for the 15 days.
   On Sunday, my mom and I went to a church service in the hospital chapel.  The chaplain  opened the Bible and began to read... yup, you guessed it... Isaiah 40:10.  It felt like God was speaking directly to me. He said, "I will hold you up and retain you"
   I personally experienced the poem.  "Footprints in the Sand"   The last part says:   
        "my precious child,I love you and I would never leave you. 
        During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of  footprints,
        it was then that I carried you."
 That word best describes how I felt during the most frightening time of my life: 'Carried'.  There was  absolutely nothing I could do about the situation but rely on God. I felt like a  little girl, being carried in her father's arms.

   That lesson changed me. Even now, when situations arise, I remember how God took care of us, I lean back in his arms and know He's still taking care of me.  I know, that I know, that I know, in the deepest part of me, that I am His child and that He, as my Father, with love, in His desire for me to be the best me, prepares me for challenges, helps me through those challenges and celebrates the victories.
   So, was it a cursing? or was is a blessing?

  

  

She made me believe

     I'm not a Bible thumping, preach it to the hills kind of girl. I'm just a believer in God. Period. I believe there is one God who sees all, knows all and is all. I don't believe in co-incidences. I believe that God orchestrates all things in our lives - the" good" things and the "bad" things.   And the reason I believe... is because I've lived it.

   There used to be a TV show called "The 'A' Team" - a good guy/bad guy kind of show. At the end of the show, the leader of the good guys says, "I love it when a plan comes together."

   I can picture God, leaning against a tree, arms folded, a grin on His face, saying that about us. 

   Did you know she had Down Syndrome before she was born?" I hear that question a lot.  No, we didn't have that diagnosis before,but, looking back at it all, I now know that, for a very long time, God had been preparing me to be Emily's mother.     

                         

    You how sometimes you get a song stuck in your head and can't get it out?  It was kind of like that - except it wasn't a song, and it wasn't in my head.  It was a verse and it was in my heart. 

     "Do not look around you in terror and be dismayed for I am your God.  I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you, and I will hold you up and retain you with my victorious right hand of rightness and justice."  Isaiah 40:10 

    I first heard that verse when I was about 7 months pregnant.  Barb Munson gave it to me during church.

   Then, in  March of '91, I wrote in my journal:

             Dear Jesus, Your word says to Jeremiah (1:5) Before I formed you in the womb, I knew

             you.  Before you were born, I set you apart…" I know, Lord, that you know this child.  Set 

             this child apart as your servant, as a vessel who will be willing to be used by you. 

    As a nurse in Labor & Delivery, I was frequently asked during my pregnancy if I knew if my baby was a boy or a girl. I'd say "No." and invariably, the next statement would be, "Well, it doesn't really matter, as long as it's healthy." 

   That statement started bugging me, and by my 9th month, it was difficult not to retort back, "What would you do if it's not healthy?" 

    When I first saw her face, I knew Emily had Down Syndrome. 

                                                       

   I was not surprised, and neither was I immediately dismayed. That came later.  That evening, when everyone had finally gone home, and Emily was in the nursery, I sat in the shower for hours, heart broken, grieving for the "perfect"  baby that wasn't mine.  Then I remembered Isaiah 40:10.  When I came out, I had gotten past "Why me?" and had moved on to "What now?".   

   Used to be, at the hospital, that there were inspirational quotes printed on the the sugar packets.  On my supper tray, the sugar packet read: 

                           If you don't get the things that you want, think about the things

                           that you don't want, that you don't get."

   It no longer mattered that she wasn't "perfect" in my eyes, I knew she was perfect in His.

   It all made sense, too.  The seemingly unrelated incidences came together for one purpose.  God had prepared my heart to become Emily’s mother.

Blessings/Cursings

Let me tell you a story.  I didn't make this up, but I like it well enough to share it with anyone who will listen and learn. 

   Once upon a time, long, long ago and far, far away, there lived a woodcutter and his only son.  They were very poor.  They eeked out a meager living by cutting wood and selling it in the town square.  It was hard work, and they carried the wood in a small cart that they pulled by hand. And the towns people all said, "you are cursed in your poverty."

    One morning, they awoke to find a horse standing outside their door, and after being unable to find the owner, they eventually claimed her to be their own.  She was able to pull the cart, making it possible to cut and sell more wood then ever.  The towns people all said, "What a blessing this horse is for you."

   Weeks later, the horse ran away, and the woodcutter was forced to return to life as it had been before, and the towns people all said, "What a cursing that horse was for you".

   The next day, the horse returned with 4 other horses and the towns people all said, "What a blessing this horse is for you."

   The young son had a plan.  He would train the horses and sell them, and earn much money, but in so doing, the was thrown from the horse and broke both his legs. The towns people all said, "What a cursing that horse is for you."

   A few weeks later, a war broke out in the land, and all the young men were enlisted to go fight in the battle. But the son was unable to go because his legs were broken.  And the towns people all said, "What a blessing it was that the horse threw him"

The moral of this story: Blessings and Cursings. Ups and Downs. Good and the Bad.  It's all just part of the roller coaster of life,the circle of life.  But when I'm in the middle of the 'cursing' cycle it's hard to see out of it.  But when I'm in the 'blessing'  cycle, and  I take time to look back, I usually find that there's been alot of good stuff in the 'cursing'.  And sometimes miracles hide.

 

This photo of the thunderstorm in Eldorado this weekend was sent

                                                     to the TV station by a viewer, no name available.

I'm sure that for some of the folks getting rained on, this was a "cursing." But for the farmers in

our area, this rain was a "blessing" and my, oh my, wasn't it beautiful?

But have no illusions, just because you're a Christian doesn't mean that you're immune from the "bad" things that happen in life.  (But that's a topic for another day)

for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.  Mathew 5:4

                               

A Sunday morning at home

It's been a stressful week, no, month, well, actually, it's been a stressful year.  This morning, we just stayed home and enjoyed being together.  Ray started out his day by going fishing, still in his bathrobe.  Watching a bobber in the water isn't really my thing, but Ray is, so I joined him on the dock with my morning coffee.

     

          
  We live on approximately 15 acres, just about 20 minutes from everywhere.  Sometimes that's a hassel, sometimes it's heaven.  This morning, I just relaxed in the sights and sounds of my home.   I listened to the purple martins call to each other as they flew overhead.  The pond was so smooth that the reflection was almost as clear as the  birdhouse itself.  Our silly ducks, who we raised from ducklings in the chicken house, don't know how to fly.  They're so awkard on land, but in the water, they're graceful as swans.

We walked around the property and found Miss Puss nursing her kittens, and breathed the fragrance of a volunteer wild rose bush which makes the barn and the barbed wire fence post look good. 

The word that comes to mind is GRATEFUL.  I am grateful for my husband, who really is my best friend and for this little piece of ground we call home, which is a respite from the cares of the world.