Monday, August 11, 2014

Satan is alive and well and after you



   I first got this message in Jan 2012,  after we were unjustly treated by a fellow church member.
It left us reeling.  We were so hurt.  We struggled with what to do next. What follows is the "gameplan" that we came up with.  I wish that I could tell you that everything has been resolved, that we are now living happily ever after, but that is not way it is.  The ripple effect of that situation continues.  What I can tell you is that God's Word is truth, and that God is faithful to complete the work He started in us.
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Satan is not after the lost, he already has them. Satan is after us, the children of God, the church!
Your enemy, the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone he can devour. (1 Peter 5:8

For our struggles is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (Ephesians 6:12) 
  
When the attack came, we were tempted to react in an ungodly manner. But that would only have played right into Satan’s plan.
     Do not give the devil a foothold (Ephesians 4:27)

We wanted to react with:       The Word tells us:

Anger                         Have you any right to be angry? (Jonah 4:4)
Anxiety/worry           Be anxious about nothing. (Phil 4:6)
Fear                           For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power,love and self control
                                          ( 1Tim 1:7 )
Withdrawal                Let us not give up meeting together, let us encourage one another. 
                                           (Hebrews 10:25)
Hate                           Bless those who persecute you, bless and do not curse. (Romans 12:14)
Retaliation                 Do not repay anyone evil with evil. Vengeance is mine says the Lord
                                           (Romans 12:17-19)
Judgment                    Do not judge, or you too will be judged.  (Matt 7:1)
Grudges                      Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and every form of
                                    malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other.  
                                             (Ephesians 4:31,32)
Pride                         Pride goes before a destruction (Proverbs 16:18) 

Instead, we chose to remain Christlike.

Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground,

And after you have done everything, to stand.      

Stand firm, then with the belt of truth around your waist,

with the breastplate of righteousness in place,

and with your feet  fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.

In addition, take up the shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

Take the helmet of salvation,

and the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God.

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers.   (Ephesians 6:13-18)


Resist the devil and he will flee. (James 4:7)


And always remember that it is: Not my ability, but God’s!   Not my battle, but the Lord’s

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Put on the full armor (AKA: I ran over a Rabbit)

   

   I ran over a rabbit.

   He ran from one side of the road to the other. 3 times he zigged and zagged   Just when I thought it was OK for me to drive on, he zigged right back under my wheels to his death.            
                        
I thought about his crazy actions and realized that they were an instinctual way to avoid his enemy. But I was not a fox, and his usual strategies to escape his natural enemies failed him when he came head to head with my car.

   The "aha" moment: I focus on learning all about Jesus, but I try to avoid satan, who, all the while is roaming to and fro, seeking to devour me. 

    Avoidance is not a strategy that works.  Not only must I put on the full armor of God, I must become intimately acquainted with my enemy and his tactics so that I may be able to use the weapons of my warfare.

   Ephesians 6:  10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. 11Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.…

                                              







Saturday, August 9, 2014

Perspective



                                             CORNFIELD MAZE
Perspective:

Imagine walking through a cornfield Maze.  The cornstalks loom tall on either side of you.   You come to a junction, and wonder which direction to take.  It can be frightening.  You wonder if you can find your way out.


Imagine looking at the Maze from an airplane.  The designs are amazing, beautiful.



When we encounter difficulties in life, it’s like walking thru a Cornfield maze.  We feel surrounded by our problems. We can't find our way out. We wonder about decisions and wonder how the situation will ever end.

But God has a different perspective.  He sees the whole picture, and He knows the beginning from the end.   The Word tells us:

Isaiah 55: 8  “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.  As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher that your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

And God does not expect us to go through troubles by ourselves.  Matt 28:20  “I will be with you all the day”

Isaiah 30:21  "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, walk this way”     

Monday, April 14, 2014

Friday the 13th revisited

Seven years ago, the 13th of April fell on a Friday.  It was the day we buried Emily.   This year, the 13th falls on a Sunday.  (hmmm, there's something to think about: 7 is the number of the Lord and Sunday is the Lord's day, hmmm)

Spring is my favorite season.   I love it and I dread it. The memories: April 4th - Emily's 16th birthday,  in the ICU, amidst the ventilator, dialysis, and all those IVs.  April 9th -  the decision to discontinue life support and the day of her death.  April 13th - the funeral. The closing of the casket marked the end of my old self and the beginning of my new self. 

I have walked the dark path of grief.  I've been the "pinball" careening from one emotion to another.  I've been the faker, pasting on the "I'm OK" face while my heart is a stone. I have scolded myself -that "at least it's not..." and imagined all sorts of worse things that could have happened. I've told myself to suck it up, to put on my big girl panties and act like a grown up, to get over it.

And this year, 7 years out, I went to grief group.  And in front of strangers, I bared my soul. To them and to myself.  And this is what I learned.
   Journal
   Life not an event, but a journey with new experiences
   Never say "At least it's not..."  how diminishing that phrase is
   Don't let anyone 'should' on you
   It's heartbreaking to God, too
   Tears are emotions turned liquid
   DO NOT HAVE TO HOLD ON TO THE PAIN
   Grief is exhausting
   My story is part of that journey
   I have been through some **** (doo-doo), and I am entitled to act like it
   Being selfish is OK - take care of myself
   Balance in everything
   It is what it is
   Even though Emily is not here, she still has a place in my life.
   It's not a closed chapter in the book, it's a new chapter in my story
   Be gentle with others
   Be gentle with myself.
In the 5th meeting of the grief group, I looked around, and instead of seeing strangers, I saw friends.  People who have, without judgement and without advice, have listened, accepted my outpourings. 

But after barren winter,  spring comes and the earth is reborn.
One of my favorite songs is "here comes the sun" by the Beatles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gq9L-BgSFJg

Spring is here.  Memory: every morning, Emily used to pick daffodils to take to school to give to Cayley, her best friend.  Last week, I walked past the house that we used to live in.  It's empty now. I saw the daffodils that Emily used to pick.  I picked some and sent a picture to Cayley. And I dug up some of those daffodils and planted the bulbs at our new home.                                                     

Today is the last gathering of our grief group.  And I will bring Emily's daffodils bulbs to give to the group.  

There's a very different feeling inside me this spring.  I am grateful.  I'm free-er, lighter, happy.  Oh yes, I'm realistic, grief is still a part of me, but today I am happy.

So I will share my new favorite song, but it comes with a warning.  Don't click on this unless you want to "Be Happy" 

http://mashable.com/2014/03/21/down-syndrome-dancers-happy/#:eyJzIjoiZiIsImkiOiJfcTI2d21kZ2R1OTUxMm4xMiJ9

Friday, March 28, 2014

the Epiphany, 7 years out.

   I've always been an 'uncomfortable in the limelight' kind of gal.  I'm more of a 'behind the camera' rather than 'in front of the camera' kind of person. And I'm a caregiver.  It's my nature, it's who I am.
   The night that Emily was born, there was a sugar packet on my supper tray (and in those days, there were inspirational quotes printed on the sugar packets). The quote of the day read: "If you don't get what you want, think about the things that you didn't want that you didn't get"
   That became ingrained in me.  Any time we encountered an obstacle, I would think "It could be worse."  I learned the phrase  "At least it's not...." and I would imagine a worse case scenario and make myself grateful that it wasn't my experience.  I looked at the cup half full instead of the cup half empty. 
   About 4 months after Emily died, I went to grief group and looked around to find others who were worse off than I was.  I met a couple whose son had died several years earlier and they were stuck in their grief.  I heard others trumping each other's experiences.  I certainly didn't want to become like that. So I piously downplayed my grief and brushed off offers for help.  
   As a nurse in the OB department,  I've helped many parents bring a new baby into their family, most of them alive and healthy.  I have also helped parents whose babies have died.  If I've heard the question "how do you deal with your grief so well?" once, I've heard it a hundred times.  I took pride in being strong.
  Last year, I became certified in perinatal loss care. During the study for this certification, I learned alot about loss and grief and came to understand myself  better.  This year, I am involved in setting up a Perinatal Hospice Program in our hospital.  I decided that I'd better make sure that I personally was in a solid place before I tried to counsel other parents in their grief journey. 
  I joined a 6-week grief group.  The epiphany started in session number two.   I accepted that it is OK, 7 years later,  for me to still grieve.  I can be "selfish" (that's the way I viewed it) and take care of myself, too.
   In the third week, the epiphany continued.  I have been through some SHIT! (sorry for that word, but I can't seem to find anything else that fits how I feel right now)  I wonder how I can be such a good caregiver to everyone else, but not to myself? Even the Word tell us to "Love thy neighbor AS, JUST LIKE, you love yourself." 
   Here's another thing I learned in group: BALANCE.  Everything in balance.  Certainly, I'm not going to run around having a pity party for myself, or go around being publically morose and draw attention to myself at inappropriate times.  But I am going to honor my own story.  I am going to acknowledge that even though there are other people out there with worse shit than mine,  I HAVE BEEN THROUGH SOME SHIT, some really bad shit.  And I am going to be kind to myself.
  
  
  

Friday, September 27, 2013

Touch of Nature

Touch of Nature, a camp ground on the banks of the Little Grassy Lake in Southern Illinois, is located just 15 minutes from the bustle of the city.  The canopy of trees hush the sounds both from without and within.  It is a popular site for retreats and workshops.The quiet is restful for the body and the soul. 

Touch of Nature is a different place in the summer.  The serene explodes with the sounds of children's laughter.  It is the home of Camp Little Giant, a week-long camp for kids with disabilities.  Kids who, all their lives have lived within the structure of "the Plan" (the individualized educational plan, the therapy plan, the safety plan, the transition plan....), are suddenly free to just to be a kid.  Parents who have risen to the daily challenges of raising a child with a disability are suddenly given respite for 5 days and nights.

Emily first went to Camp Little Giant when she was 13.  I'd been talked into sending her. My husband had said it would be good for her, that she'd have fun and the bonus, we could have some time alone. I was sure that the counselors would call me to come get her the first day.  But they didn't call the first day or the second, or the third.  They didn't call at all. 

We were both set free that summer. I let go of some of the control I had been holding and learned to trust others with Emily's needs.  I let go of the fear within me that said "what will happen to Emily when I am no longer able to care for her?" and learned to trust that God would have someone else if I wasn't there.  And I learned to trust Emily.  She was growning up, just like typical kids do, and I recognized that she needed independence from me, just like typical kids do.

And Emily, she came home a different person.  She was proud of herself, proud of her independence  It was as if she had grown wings.










Emily went to camp at Camp Little Giant for three summers.  The year she died, we gave her reservation to one of her friends and prayed that it would bless their family as much as it had ours.

It's been six years since I've been to Touch of Nature.  Yesterday, I went there to attend a mandatory workshop for my job. In the days leading up to the event, I told myself "You can do this". But even with that preparation, I had no idea it would be so hard. Just driving into the camp, memories flooded my mind and throughout the day, my eyes rode the waves.

During a break in the meeting, I walked the paths where Emily had walked. I found the cabin where she had stayed. I laid down in the bed in which she had slept. I let open the cage in my heart where grief resides and let him run free.  I felt the torment, the anguish all over again.  Although grief is with me always, and it's OK, even needful, to visit with him at times, he is not who I want as a constant companion. so, after a few minutes, I put grief back in his cage, and locked his door.

When I rose, it felt good to have torn off the scab, to drain the wound.  The healing continues.

Friday, December 28, 2012

Wrongful Birth / Wrongful Life lawsuits

   Throughout Emily's life, I was confronted by well-meaning folks who blamed Satan on her having Down Syndrome.  Since her death,  well-meaning folks have proclaimed that now she has a perfect body, that she has been healed of the Down Syndrome.  I say: Poppycock!  I don't believe that Emily was broken when she was born and I don't believe that she is fixed now that she has died. 
   King James 2000 Bible (©2003)
Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; and before you came forth out of the womb I sanctified you, and I ordained you a prophet unto the nations.


   I read this article this morning  and grieved over the evil in this world.    But as dismayed as I am when I hear reports on the news, they just serve to remind me that we ARE in the last days, and it's only going to get worse. 
   King James 2000 Bible (©2003)
And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
   King James 2000 Bible (©2003)
Thus says the LORD; A voice was heard in Ramah, lamentation, and bitter weeping; Rachel weeping for her children refused to be comforted for her children, because they were not.

Wrongful Birth Lawsuits Wrongly Tell Kids: Wish You Were Dead

by Denise J. Hunnell, M.D. | Washington, DC | LifeNews.com | 12/27/11 5:11 PM

Imagine gazing at your child and coldly declaring, “You should never have been born.” Yet parents are doing exactly that in courts around the world as they bring “wrongful life” or “wrongful birth” lawsuits against doctors and fertility clinics.
These very sad cases are variations on the classic “wrongful death” medical malpractice suit. The twist is that the plaintiffs are dissatisfied because the patient — in this case a child — lived instead of died. Usually these children suffer from a serious disability or genetic disease. In a “wrongful birth” suit the parents allege that if they had been given a prenatal diagnosis of the child’s condition they would have aborted their child. They seek compensation for the care of their child and punitive damages for having to live with a disabled child.
“Wrongful life” cases are filed on behalf of the child, claiming that non-existence is preferable to living in a diseased state. In 1998, Amos Shapira argued in the Journal of Medical Ethics: ”… it would be both feasible and desirable to endorse ‘wrongful life’ compensation actions. The genetic counsellor owed a duty of due professional care to the impaired newborn who now claims that but for the counsellor’s negligence, he or she would not have been born at all. The plaintiff’s defective life (where healthy life was never an option) constitutes a compensable injury.”
Professor Shapira of Tel Aviv University wrote this over a decade ago. Since then, such lawsuits on behalf of children with genetic defects have become commonplace in Israel. The Oct. 26, 2011, issue of NewScientist magazine reports that the rising trend of these “wrongful birth” cases has prompted an investigation by the Israeli government. Israel, like much of the Middle East, India, and North Africa has a high rate of consanguineous marriages, thus increasing the incidence of genetic diseases. Carmel Shalev, a human rights lawyer and bioethicist at Israel’s University of Haifa, asserts the Israeli culture is geared to do prenatal testing and abort children with genetic defects. She states in New Scientist:
“There is an entire system fuelled by money and the quest for the perfect baby. Everyone buys in to it — parents, doctors and labs. Parents want healthy babies, doctors encourage them to get tested, and some genetic tests are marketed too early.”
In other countries “wrongful birth” lawsuits focus more on the hardships of the parents than the children. A 2009 case in England sought £1.5 million as a down payment on the care of Rupert, a 5-year-boy who was born with congenital heart defects, a cleft palate, a vertebral abnormality and a single kidney. Rupert is also wheelchair bound, requires mechanical ventilation via a tracheotomy and has a feeding tube. The lawyers for his family argued that because these abnormalities were not detected on the pre-natal ultrasound, his mother was never offered the opportunity to abort Rupert. She was burdened with his care and therefore deserved compensation.
A 2003 lawsuit sought damages because Down syndrome was not diagnosed prenatally. The Vancouver mother complained that having a child with a mental disability “totally disrupted our plans.” She was awarded $10,000 in damages for her suffering. In a similarly disturbing case, an Australian lesbian couple attempted to sue an IVF clinic because the birth mother became pregnant with twins when she only wanted one child. Their suit claimed the couple was “overwhelmed” with two children. The birth mother was beside herself because she had to buy an expensive stroller for twins and suffered nausea during her pregnancy. While this lawsuit was rejected by the Australian courts, the thinking that prompted such a claim is part and parcel of this increasingly prevalent view of parenting.
Throughout the world, children are dehumanized and treated as accessories in the lives of adults. With contraception, children are conceived when it is convenient for their parents. Abortion allows for “defective” children to be destroyed so that their parents do not have to deal with sickness and disabilities. In fact, a Danish newspaper headline announced earlier this year that a medical breakthrough would cure Down syndrome. In actuality, the proclamation was simply saying that prenatal testing and the subsequent abortion of unborn children affected by Down syndrome would be so thorough as to eliminate all live births of such children.
The advent of assisted reproductive technologies has allowed selecting a child to become even more precise. Embryos are screened before they are implanted. Those not of the desired gender or those with less than optimal genetics are discarded. In 2009 British doctors enthusiastically announced the birth of the first baby girl who had been screened as an embryo to ensure she did not carry the BRCA1 gene for breast cancer. In doing so, they implicitly denounced the lives of all women who do carry the BRCA1 gene. To these physicians, it would have been better had these women never been born.
When having a baby becomes an exercise in consumerism, it is not surprising that parents want some sort of money-back guarantee. When a purchased product does not meet the specifications that were ordered, we send it back and ask for a refund. “Wrongful birth” lawsuits are compensation for a “defective” purchase. “Wrongful life” lawsuits claim that disabled children are manufacturing mistakes. They should never have happened in the first place. Such thinking strips children of their human dignity and debases their parents.
Secular culture judges children by their usefulness to their parents. Such conditional love breeds distrust and insecurity. This socially destructive view must be countered with a culture of life that accepts the vocational nature of parenthood. Parents are called by God to be stewards of the specific human life given to them. Every child, no matter the state of his health, is conceived in the image of God. Every child also comes with his own set of challenges. There is no denying that some of these challenges are daunting. However, if God calls us to a task He will not abandon us. His grace will see us through if we have faith enough to trust.
LifeNews Note: Denise Hunnell, MD, is a Fellow of HLI America, an educational initiative of Human Life International. She writes for HLI America’s Truth and Charity Forum. This article originally appeared on Zenit.org.